Screw emo adults!

when children break your heart, it's just a beautiful disaster; but when the grown-up do it, it just gets uglier by the moment. i don't mind growing up, but i hate this grown-up rubbish

dude, what's up, please write

infatuation, the rebel's whore, smiling upon the confused eyes and breathing sensuous perfume into their nose, dazing them with the devilish charm.

forsake me you strange witch, lift your strangling weed from my throat, vanquish that poison root; release the unreal thoughts, relief the plunge that sore heart does know.

hold fast the moral quos, stride still the righteous courier, and trumpet the slogan of revolution, bellow the horny intention.

beckon you dwarfish thieves, the false beholders of the holy seat, shrug off that faulty disguise and show your crawny deceitful selves.

time allows ignorance of the past grudges, and clutch hard to the failing memory, and trailing the fainting track, you the walker, no where in sight, cross your greenland to mirage, consuming desert in my eyes. the path that never had met, fare well, my friend

prisoner of the memory, slave of the heart, grip tight the slipping logic, tighten and tighten, lay the feet firm on the ground, and keep hold of the aired up head.

beyond the void, the place i belong, the heart, soul, body's final rejoice.

"love is in the air, i put on a gas mask " this ingenious quote from an anonymous person in my school, hilarous and good advice. HAHA

don't wanna say this is stupid anymore, why should i, this is as mature as it can ever get, i did the analysis (weird, huh) i know when to stop, even though strange vision mocks me, pushing me to pace the line my education draws. i shall not be tempted to cross that line, as i would not try to jump onto the MTR track (trust me, they are the same thing) if anything is done, that would be impulse, and "perfectifying", which is often the reason i lost interest eventually. ha. so much for love. it's good to hang out with nice people, but really i hate the communication part. i loath MSN, facebook, phone, e-mail, the only thing i can stand is face to face talk. shit.

three months man

something stays in the past, something trapped in the present, something is yet to come.

can past skip present and become the future

can the unclarity be defined eventually in the future, with a more visible code that i can read.

will the future be fine, or just another past to be?

today is yesterday's tomorrow, tomorrow's history.

day by day, nothing means anything, time to time, blend into a continuous pace.

guess i never really know about childhood, but i can't say i don't have a childhood, because it is not true, everyone has childhood. but i never really define a period of my life as my 'childhood', even i was experiencing it. when i was 7 or 8, i was thinking 'is this my childhood? is my childhood a happy one? am i happy now?' i guess i have always been thinking about things i don't understand at the period, like do i want to get married and stuff, when i was more ignorant, i had a more definite answer to a lot of questions or less. do i grow surer or less? or i simply encounter more varieties in my life, more suggestions? anyways, does not having a definite period of time defined as my childhood equal i never been really happy? or is it just vanity, a little self-indulgence to feel isolated and not understood, to feel always observing from the outside? to feel i am above the crowd? guess that was a stupid thought either. it's not true that i have always been sad, because there are not that much to be sad, but there ain't much to feel excited because there are things to be sad about. strangely, i can tell people there is a period of my life i can define as a 'sad' period but there isn't one that i can label 'happy'. maybe that's just because i am not an optimistic kind of person because i'm never been the kind that maintain high spirit over a week whih is often self-induced bliss, but that should be the reason why i am happy, not because good things always happen, because that would be as horrifying as bad things happening everyday.

i thought i was a determined person, but seeing from my subject-choosing i am really not after all, it was because there wasn't much to choose from after all.

i thought i was a studious hard-working kind of student, but i don't really enjoy working all that much, i find that i am enjoying the hedonistic kind of lying around, doing nothing because thinking about the future or just now is too exhausting, and living itself requires courage, for there are so many reasons to die as well as to live. if the flower hasn't bloomed enough to invite my longing gaze, i might as well have left altogether. girl, i understand you, i could have done that three years ago, but i am glad that i didn't now, even now life gives me more challenge than before, i shall say i am proud later than to be conquered by death so soon, voluntarily. life, oh life, Satan is looming everywhere, lurking in every corner, it is that thin camouflaged line that, so cunningly everyone trips over, then the devil will sound his deadly instrument, the innocent soul, desperate for salvation, shall be punished by eternal hellish regret, insteadly of the heavenly rejoice.

i am so ignorant still, insignificant, what light should shine on this roof, the halo that glows, that speaks the wisdom, and tells the dream, the boat that sail across the waves, berthes in the heavenly dock.